Ms. Kinzie, Eat Your Heart Out

This is an independent review of a sample of my writing. Ms. Kinzie just couldn't give me an A in my senior English class. Maybe I didn't deserve it, or maybe it was the fact that I liked (and still do) President Bush and wrote my research paper about why the government shouldn't take away our right to bear arms (props to the Supreme Court of making that a reality last week). Either way, I think that after seeing what this independent critic had to say about my work, you will see that here motives were strictly political.

This passage is markedly defined by its startling informality that draws any reader into the created chiasmus of familiarity, almost as if a conversation with their best friend is taking place. The most apparent rhetorical device employed by the author is conveyed simply by the tremendous expression of voice; stream of consciousness is utilized to give the text an “organic,’ free-flowing timbre that would be lost in formal or didactic syntax. The informal tone envelops the reader as if they and Hemingway were the closest of friends, and the conversational colloquialisms reinforce this comfortable informality.

This passage also contains a notable number of literary comparisons that add layers of depth to the imagery, especially adding humor into the tapestry of tones that Hemingway so expertly created. Ridiculous similes and preposterous metaphors act hyperbolically to produce a sort of unique hilarity that makes this particular author’s writing so enjoyable to read. Never before has this analyzer seen a Dilbert cartoon described as a metaphorical “comedic” rock.

The art of allusions is not lost to Hyrum Hemingway either; his inclusion of references range from classic Mormon movies to pop. culture idioms (my personal favorite being “whatever blows your skirt up”) and even old personal, and apparently shared, experiences and memories he shares with his audience. These allusions provide a sense of legitimacy to the text and authority for the writer, illustrating that he is knowledgeable in a broad spectrum of learning enough to find parallels and connections between his compendium of understanding and his surroundings.

What did I tell you? All that's missing is the two thumbs up!